14 Football Players Who Definitely Won't Get A Date This Valentines Day

14 Football Players Who Definitely Won't Get A Date This Valentines Day

Happy Valentines Day from everyone here at Talking Baws!

Whether you’re spending it with your wife, girlfriend or an ice-cold pint of lager, we hope you’re all having a fantastic day of romance.

However, big hearts and romance aside, we still love a right good laugh. So here are 14 of football’s best known players who will definitely be spending this evening alone.

By Scott MacArthur – @scottmacarthur8

1) Phil Jones


Ah, the many faces of Phil Jones.

The millions in his bank account may attract some ladies out there… but we don’t imagine that Jones’ facial expression would change much during a heated moment of passion .. and we definitely don’t think the money’s worth it.

2) Mesut Ozil


He’s definitely got the look. But it’s more of an amphibian kind of look. Besides, Arsenal fans may get jealous if anyone tries to take their Ozil away.

3) Willo Flood


Poor Willo isn’t exactly built like the side of a house. The way his kit hangs loose off him, you almost feel sorry for Willo but at least he’s a good play… oh never mind.

4) Luke Chadwick


He’s known as the most unfortunate looking man ever seen on a football pitch. But it’s rumored the MK Dons midfielder did undergo plastic surgery as he’s now a solid 3/10.

5) Franck Ribery


There’s no denying the guy is an absolute genius footballer but he does slightly resemble Sloth from The Goonies.

6) Leigh Griffiths


During his time at Hibs, he was dubbed as ‘The Thumb’ by rival Hearts’ supporters, although I’m sure a couple of outstanding free-kicks was enough to shut them up.

7) Peter Crouch


Crouchy was once famously quoted as saying “If I wasn’t a footballer I’d probably be a virgin.”

Well if it wasn’t for his smoking hot wife Abbey Clancy we’re 99% sure he would be spending this evening alone.

8) Wayne Rooney


Just like Crouch we’re pretty sure Wazza would be single on Valentines Day if he didn’t have his wife. Saying that, he’d probably just go out granny-hunting.

9) Dirk Kuyt


A Liverpool legend … and a very, very ugly man.

10) Joleon Lescott


Not the best football player. Not the best looking either.

11) John Terry


By all means John Terry isn’t the worst looking guy in the world. But even that suave London accent isn’t enough to make up for the fact he is a complete and utter nonce. Whether its racial abuse, cheating on your missus or sleeping with your team-mates wife, JT has done it all.

12) Luka Modric


Poor Luka isn’t the most manliest looking footballer is he? And you can’t help looking at him and thinking of Coronation Street’s Gail Platt… sorry Gail.

13) Carlos Tevez


Compared to a bulldog … for obvious reasons.

14) Ashley Cole


You can’t be that bad-looking if you were at one stage returning home to Cheryl Cole every night.

But just like his Chelsea team-mate, Terry, Ashley Cole doesn’t exactly have the reputation of being the nicest bloke in town.

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