Five Reasons Why Stone Cold Would Be Newcastle’s Greatest Ever Signing

Five Reasons Why Stone Cold Would Be Newcastle’s Greatest Ever Signing

With rumours of WWE tycoon Vince McMahon’s potential Newcastle takeover gathering speed we give you five good reasons why Stone Cold Steve Austin would be Newcastle United’s greatest EVER signing.

By Kyran Wallace – @kyrano14

1. He wouldn’t stand for Luis Suarez’ diving around when the Scousers are in town

stone cold

2. He’d fit right in with the Geordies


Anyone who’s had a night out in Newcastle or who live close to the area will be well aware that the Geordies love a few Newcastle Brown Ales and the ‘Texas Rattle Snake’ is no different.

3. He’d be the first to wear the number ‘3:16’ on the back of a Newcastle top!


Lets be honest, these would sell like hot-cakes. They’d bring in millions in revenue and give the Magpies the funds to buy some of the biggest stars in the world such as Ronaldo, Messi and Jeff Hardy.

4. He’s just like Temuri Ketsbaia . . .

They’re both bald, mental, throw they’re tops into the crowd and who doesn’t remember the time Ketsbaia opened up a full can of whoop ass on that ad board?? Austin would be a hit just like the Georgian madman.

5. That iconic sound of shattered glass


Picture the scene, 80 mins gone at home to Sunderland, it’s still nothing each and the fourth official raises the board for the number 3:16 to come on. The sound of shattered glass blasts over the St. Jame’s audio system and Austin storms out the tunnel with a Newcastle top under his leather waist coat before handing out a Stone Cold stunner to Lee Catermole to recieve a straight red whilst giving the ref the middle finger. The result wouldn’t even matter after that.

“And that’s the bottom line because Stone cold says . . Why Aye Man!”

  • Reblogged this on Stuart Irvine and commented:
    Wouldn’t that be awesome, every player in the primer league would be scared shitless so austin 3:16 whooping their ass all over the football pitch, sign him up a say sign him up lol

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